Thursday 24 November 2016

When I was pregnant with my first son, our lives were finally settled. We bought a big house, two cars… We apparently lived happily. But shortly before my baby was born, my husband and I had a conversation after which my idyllic card castle collapsed. He said “I’m only staying with you for the baby. I don’t love you anymore”. I felt shocked. 

Here is my lesson

 Naturally, I tried to think straight. I forgave my husband thinking about my son’s sake. Or at least that what I said to myself. But my sake was far from peace – I was afraid my husband would leave us. My son was born a Friday of July. He was so beautiful and innocent. He didn’t have any idea about what was happening in my world.


A month later, I found the reason behind all. During five years my husband had a lover and had found another one while I was pregnant. This discovery forced me to quit my “happy family” dream, and I left the house with my son. 

The baby and I ended up in a rented apartment. Depression was consuming me. The anger, fear, pain, and the crazy responsibility –all that was mixing in my mind like a poisonous cocktail. I cried a lot, but I did it in such way that my son wouldn’t see it. 

When my son turned four months old, I touched the bottom. After a discussion with my husband he left my apartment and I curled on the bathroom floor, crying and cursing my destiny. And then I heard my voice: “I don’t want to live anymore.” And after that –silence. 

After crying inconsolably for a while, I suddenly felt some force had arisen in me, and that force wouldn’t let bad things consume my life. I was buried in negativity and was destroying my existence. 

That day I packed and went with my son to my brother’s house. I felt strong and independent! The two hours of the road I was laughing, singing and talking with my baby.

That was when I realized he was my link, my salvation. He was reason enough to live and enjoy my life. I started to laugh and love people again. I realized happiness comes from inside Here is my lesson… My mistake was forgetting about my life and obsessing with my husband. 

I wasn’t living at all. I only existed under certain circumstances. To live your life you need to free your spirit and enjoy your individuality. In that state, loving someone else brings joy and doesn´t turn into a constant fear of losing him.
 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Send your Comment and you get response quick

Recommended For You

How to optimise your customers revel in the use of social media

How to optimize your customers experience the usage of social media social media consumer revel in social media has in no way been more cr...